I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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