Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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