Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
