No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
