I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
