i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
