not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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