just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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