she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think people are normalizing furries
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
