just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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