i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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