This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
