S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
