.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
