I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
