He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
