Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
