how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
