her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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