nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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