I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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