I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
