I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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