my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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