My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
