I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
