I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
