if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
