that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
