he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
