You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
