you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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