i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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