and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
