elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
