Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
