The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
