is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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