watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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