at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
my liver is dry heaving
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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