If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
