thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
