is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
