nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
