I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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