Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Randomize
