i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
