Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
