He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
