it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
