Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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