I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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